Savy Seniors Online

REDUCE YOUR RISK OF HEART ATTACK AND STROKE

2009-07-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

UNDERSTAND THE RISK

Heart Disease is the No. 1 cause of death for men and women in the U.S. And, Stroke is the No 3 cause. This means it's important for you to do everything you can to reduce your risk and prevent a heart attack or stroke.

Learn about the things that increase your risk and take steps to make changes. Even if you've already had a heart attack or stroke, it's not too late to improve your health and prevent future damage to your heart or brain.

KNOW YOUR RISK

Your risk of a heart attack or stroke increases if you:

have high blood pressure
have high cholesterol
have a family history of heart attack, stroke, or heart disease
have had a heart attack or stroke
are overweight or obese
have diabetes
smoke

If you've already had a heart attack or stroke, then you know it's important to prevent having another one in the future. Lifestyle changes and taking medications can reduce your risk. It's important to make a treatment plan with your doctor and stick to it.

Personal and Close to Home ~~~
This past weekend Saturday and Sunday consecutively two of my dear friend's husbands had 'heart attacks'. It was very scary there for a while for all of us. These men are 55 and 58 (not very old in the scheme of things) One was dealing with extremely high blood pressure; the other, this was his 3rd heart attack and he had also undergone open heart surgery about 3 years ago. Both were diagnosed with a blocked coronary artery (arteries that service the heart).

What Happens

Over time, high blood pressure can damage your artery walls and cause them to harden and thicken.
Plague, which consists of cholesterol, fat, calcium and other substances, can build up in the damaged lining of an artery. Over time, it narrows and blocks the artery. As this plaque continues to build, the artery becomes narrower, harder and less flexible. This reduces blood flow to the artery.
Eventually, the plaque cracks. If this happens, platelets, which are particles in the blood, clump together on or near the crack and can form a clot, thus cutting off the blood flow to the heart or brain - thus leading to a heart attack or stroke.

WARNING SIGNS
Symptoms of a heart attack or stroke are not the same for everyone. Also signs of a second heart attack or stroke may be different from those a person experienced the first time.

HEART ATTACK SYMPTOMS

pain or discomfort in one or both arms, your back, neck, jaw or stomach
pain or discomfort in the center of your chest that lasts for more than a few minutes, or goes away and comes back
pressure, squeezing or fullness in the chest
shortness of breath
nausea, vomiting, cold sweat or dizziness

STROKE SYMPTOMS

sudden numbness or weakness in your face, arm or leg on one side of your body
trouble walking or dizziness
sudden confusion or trouble speaking
loss of vision in one or both eyes
sudden, severe headache

NOTE: Women's Symptoms May be Different
In addition to the symptoms listed above, Women may also experience such things as:
- unusual fatigue
- sleep disturbance and anxiety 'weeks' before a heart attack

Minutes Matter - Every Second Counts...
If you or a loved one or someone you know are experiencing the symptoms of a heart attack or stroke, have someone drive you or them to the nearest emergency room or in most cases CALL 911. Many people waste valuable time thinking the symptoms aren't serious, but it's important to take action as soon as your symptoms appear. About 50 percent of people who die from a heart attack die within one hour of the onset of symptoms. And, it's no different for stroke patients --every minute that passes increases your risk of serous brain damage or disability.

REDUCE YOUR RISK
10 Lifestyle Changes that You Can Make to Reduce Your Risk of a Heart Attack or Stroke.

1. Reduce High Blood Pressure. If you have high blood pressure, make a plan with your doctor to lower it. Work with your doctor to reduce your current blood pressure.

2. Reduce High Cholesterol. Talk to your doctor about lifestyle changes and medications that can help you get your cholesterol under control.

3. Lose Weight. If you have extra body fat --- especially around your waist--- your risk increases. Losing just 10 pounds can reduce your risk. Make sure to talk to your docor before beginning a wight loss or exercise plan.

4. Be Active. Start slowly and add minutes to your workout everyday. Try to make exercise part or your daily routine. If you have had trouble sticking to an exercise plan in the past, choose activities that you enjoy and recruit friends and family to join you. If you miss a day, don't be discouraged -- just start again the next day.

5. Control your Diabetes. Monitor your blood glucose. The American Diabetes Association recommends that your A1C (the test that measures your average glucose over two or three months) be below 7 percent.

6. Quit Smoking. If you smoke, your risk of having a heart attack doubles. But, after just 24 hours of quitting, your risk goes down. After one year, your risk is half that of a smoker, and after 15 years, your risk will be the same as that of a nonsmoker.

7. Avoid Excessive Alcohol Use. Limit your alcohol intake to one drink per day for women (two for men). One drink is equal to 12 oz of beer, 4 oz o wine, or 1.5 oz of 80-proof liquor.

8. Reduce Stress. High stress levels can contribute to heart disease. Take steps to reduce stress in your life, and consider practicing relaxation techniques, such as yoga or meditation or getting a periodic massage.

9. Eat a Healthy Diet. Talk to your doctor abut developing a plan to help you eat a diet high in fruits and vegetables, and low in sodium. Read nutritional labels on packaged food, and pay close attention to total fat, saturated fat, trans fat, cholesterol and sodium.

10. Talk Openly to Your Doctor. It's normal to experience anger, guilt or depression after having a heart attack or stroke. Your doctor can help.

For additional information and resources visits the Websites below:

- American Heart Association ~~ http://www.americanheart.org/
- American Stroke Association ~~ www.strokeassociation.org

Information from Healthy Advise for You and Your Family - 2008 Healthy Advise Networks...

To Your Health & Success !
Miss Julia, Your Personal Success Coach
Licensed Professional Nurse
Proud Member ~My VM Team ~ My VM Team Majic

Is Over Fifty Over the Hill For Dating?

2009-07-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

So you are over fifty and you find yourself suddenly single and now looking to enter the dreaded over fifty dating scene. Are you 'flogging a dead horse' trying to find a relationship when you are in your fifties or, horror of horrors, in your sixties?

Thankfully - no, at 50 plus or 60 plus, you have 20 or 30 (or more) years ahead of you and you can certainly still find love in your fifties. There are more and more people in their forties, fifties and sixties who have lost a loved one through bereavement, divorce, or other reason, and are now newly back on the singles scene. And how that scene has changed since they last looked!

Thankfully the 40 plus, over 50's and 60 plus dating arena has now been more comprehensively covered by the internet, with many web sites specializing in the needs of this group of people. There is a whole new generation of web users known as silver surfers, who are people who are now in their prime and surfing the net. This group of people are now extremely well served by fifty plus dating internet provision with many web sites now offering very comprehensive services to these users.

Of course, just because you are over forty, fifty or sixty, it doesn't mean that your chosen date has to be in the same age bracket. Again, the most comprehensive web sites will enable the visitor to search for prospective partners in different age brackets so as to widen the field of available dates.

One fifty plus web site that allows this facility is http://www.inyourprimedating.com where the visitor can search for prospective dates in a variety of different age groups to give the maximum choice.

Dianne Hunter is a long term specialist in relationships and dating

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dianne_Hunter

Article Submitted On: June 05, 2009

BE SCAM SAVY ~ For You and Those You Love ...

2009-07-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

ASIAN EXTORTION SCHEME

06/10/09—The FBI is currently aware of a nationwide attempt to extort ethnic business owners, mostly of Asian decent, through telephonic threats of violence. The telephone calls appear to be originating from foreign countries. The caller acquires an adequate amount of open source information about the victim through Internet searches. This misleads the victim into believing the subject has personal knowledge about the victim. There have been no reported incidents of violence actually perpetrated to date.

Individuals who receive phone calls or e-mails containing threats of violence and their personally identifiable information (PII) are encouraged to contact law enforcement as well as file a complaint at www.ic3.gov.

FRAUDULENT SPAM E-MAIL PURPORTEDLY FROM
FBI DEPUTY DIRECTOR JOHN S. PISTOLE

10/16/08—A spam e-mail claiming to be from FBI Deputy Director John S. Pistole is currently being circulated. This attempt to defraud is the typical e-mail scam using the name and reputation of an FBI official to create an air of authenticity.

As with many scams, the e-mail advises the recipient that they are the beneficiary of a large sum of money which they will be permitted to access once fees are paid and personal banking information is provided. The appearance of the e-mail leads the reader to believe that it is from FBI Deputy Director John S. Pistole.

This e-mail is a hoax. Do not respond.

The IC3 continues to receive and develop intelligence regarding fraud schemes misrepresenting the FBI and/or FBI officials. The scam e-mails give the appearance of legitimacy through the use of pictures of FBI officials, seal, letterhead, and/or banners.

These fraud schemes claim to be from domestic as well as international FBI offices. The typical types of schemes utilizing the names of FBI officials and/or the FBI are lottery endorsements and inheritance notifications, but can cover a range of scams from threats and malicious computer program attachments (malware) to online auction scams.

These scams use the social engineering technique of employing the FBI's name to intimidate and convince the recipient the e-mail is legitimate.

Please be cautious of any unsolicited e-mail referencing the FBI, Director Mueller, Deputy Director Pistole, or any other FBI official claiming that the FBI is endorsing any type of Internet activity.

Always be cautious when responding to requests or special offers delivered through unsolicited e-mail:

Guard your personal information and your account information carefully.

You should never give any personal, credit, or banking information in response
to unsolicited e-mails.

If you have received this e-mail, or a similar e-mail, please file a complaint at www.ic3.gov.

HIT MAN E-MAIL SCAM RETURNS

08/28/08—The IC3 continues to receive thousands of reports concerning the hit man e-mail scheme. The e-mail content has evolved since late 2006; however, the messages remain similar in nature, claiming the sender has been hired to kill the recipient.

Two new versions of the scheme began appearing in July 2008. One instructed the recipient to contact a telephone number contained in the e-mail and the other claimed the recipient or a “loved one” was going to be kidnapped unless a ransom was paid. Recipients of the kidnapping threat were told to respond via e-mail within 48 hours. The sender was to provide the location of the wire transfer five minutes before the deadline and was threatened with bodily harm if the ransom was not received within 30 minutes of the time frame given. The recipients’ personally identifiable information (PII) was included in the e-mail to promote the appearance that the sender actually knew the recipient and their location.

Perpetrators of Internet crimes often use fictitious names, addresses, telephone numbers, and threats or warnings regarding the failure to comply to further their schemes.

In some instances, the use of names, titles, addresses, and telephone numbers of government officials and business executives, and/or the victims’ PII are used in an attempt to make the fraud appear more authentic.

Below are links for the two previous public service announcements published by the IC3 concerning the hit man scheme:

http://www.ic3.gov/media/2007/070109.aspx

http://www.ic3.gov/media/2006/061207.aspx

Consumers always need to be alert to unsolicited e-mails. Do not open unsolicited e-mails or click on any embedded links, as they may contain viruses or malware. Providing your PII will compromise your identity!

Individuals who receive e-mails containing threats of violence and their PII are encouraged to contact law enforcement as well as file a complaint at www.ic3.gov.

STORM WORM VIRUS

07/30/08—Be on the lookout for spam e-mail spreading malicious software (malware) which mentions “F.B.I. vs. facebook.” The e-mail directs the recipient to click on a link to view an article about the FBI and Facebook. Once the user clicks on the link, the “Storm Worm”malware is downloaded to the Internet-connected device, causing it to become infected with the virus and part of the Storm Worm botnet. A botnet is a network of compromised machines under the control of a single user. Botnets are typically set up to facilitate criminal activity such as spam e-mail, identity theft, denial of service attacks, and spreading malware to other machines on the Internet.

The Storm Worm virus has capitalized on various holidays and fictitious world events in the last year by sending millions of e-mails advertising an e-card link within the text of the spam e-mail.

Be wary of any e-mail received from an unknown sender. Do not open any unsolicited e-mail and do not click on any links provided.

If you have received this, or a similar e-mail, please file a complaint at www.ic3.gov.

TIPS ON AVOIDING FRAUDULENT CHARITABLE CONTRIBUTION SCHEMES

07/08/08—Since late May and early June 2008, there have been several natural disasters throughout the country—including tornadoes, wildfires, and floods—that have devastated lives and property. In the wake of these events, which cause emotional distress and great financial loss to numerous victims, individuals across the nation often feel a desire to help, frequently through monetary donations.

Tragic incidents such as 9/11, Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, and the recent earthquake in China have prompted individuals with criminal intent to solicit contributions purportedly for a charitable organization and/or a good cause. Therefore, before making a donation of any kind, consumers should adhere to certain guidelines, to include the following:

Do not respond to unsolicited (spam) e-mail.

Be skeptical of individuals representing themselves as officials soliciting via e-mail for donations.

Do not click on links contained within an unsolicited e-mail.

Be cautious of e-mail claiming to contain pictures in attached files, as the files may contain viruses. Only open attachments from known senders.

To ensure contributions are received and used for intended purposes, make contributions directly to known organizations rather than relying on others to make the donation on your behalf.

Validate the legitimacy of the organization by directly accessing the recognized charity or aid organization's website rather than following an alleged link to the site.

Attempt to verify the legitimacy of the non-profit status of the organization by using various Internet-based resources, which also may assist in confirming the actual existence of the organization.

Do not provide personal or financial information to anyone who solicits contributions: providing such information may compromise your identity and make you vulnerable to identity theft.

To obtain more information on charitable contribution schemes and other types of online schemes, visit www.lookstoogoodtobetrue.com. If you are a victim of an online scheme, please notify the IC3 by filing a complaint at www.ic3.gov.

PHISHING AND VISHING ATTACKS TARGETING USERS OF EPPICARDS

06/13/08—The IC3 has received reports of phishing attacks targeting users of EPPICards. The EPPICard is similar to a debit card. EPPICards are issued by a state agency for the purpose of receiving child-support payments. The cards are currently used in 15 states.

Individuals have reported receiving e-mail or text messages indicating a problem with their account. They are directed to follow the link provided in the message to update their account or correct the problem. The link actually directs the individuals to a fraudulent web site where their personal information, such as account number and PIN, is compromised.

Individuals have also reported receiving an e-mail message asking them to complete an online survey. At the end of the survey, they are asked for their EPPICard account information to allow funds to be credited to the account in appreciation for completing the survey. Providing this information will allow criminals to compromise the account.

EPPICard providers indicate they are not affiliated with survey web sites and do not solicit personal information via email or text messages.

Please be cautious of unsolicited e-mails. Do not open e-mails from unknown senders because they often contain viruses or other malicious software. Also, avoid clicking links in e-mails received from unknown senders as this is a popular method of directing victims to phishing websites.

If you have received an e-mail similar to this, please notify the IC3 by filing a complaint at www.ic3.gov.

FRAUDULENT REFUND NOTIFICATION PURPORTEDLY FROM THE IC3

06/06/08—Consumers need to be aware of e-mail schemes containing various versions of fraudulent refund notifications purportedly from the IC3 and the government of the United Kingdom. The e-mails claim the refunds are being made to compensate the recipients for their losses as victims of Internet fraud.

The perpetrators of this fraud use the names of people not associated with the IC3 but give them titles in an attempt to make the e-mails appear official. The perpetrators use the IC3’s logo and the former name of the IC3, the Internet Fraud Complaint Center (IFCC), as well as the names of the Bank of England and the Metropolitan Police in the e-mails.

The e-mails promise refunds of thousands of dollars which are to be sent via bank wire transfer from the “bank of England” once the victim signs a “fund release order.” The e-mails contain warnings that failure to sign the order will place the funds on hold and a penalty will be applied.

As with most spam, the content contains elements which are evidence of fraud such as: multiple spelling errors, poor grammar, agency names, signatures of officials and titles to appear authentic, and a warning for failure to comply. In some of the e-mails, the names of the officials do not match the signatures.

Consumers always need to be alert when they receive an unsolicited e-mail. Remember: do not open unsolicited e-mail or click on any links embedded in the e-mail, as they may contain a virus or malware.

If you have received an e-mail similar to this, please file a complaint at www.ic3.gov.

PHISHING RELATED TO ISSUANCE OF ECONOMIC STIMULUS CHECKS

05/08/08—The FBI warns consumers of recently reported spam e-mail purportedly from the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) which is actually an attempt to steal consumer information. The e-mail advises the recipient that direct deposit is the fastest and easiest way to receive their economic stimulus tax rebate. The message contains a hyperlink to a fraudulent form which requests the recipient's personally identifiable information, including bank account information. To convince consumers to reply, the e-mail warns that a failure to complete the form in a timely manner will delay the issuance of the rebate check.

One example of this IRS spam e-mail message is as follows:

"Over 130 million Americans will receive refunds as part of President Bush's program to jumpstart the economy.

Our records indicate that you are qualified to receive the 2008 Economic Stimulus Refund.

The fastest and easiest way to receive your refund is by direct deposit to your checking/savings account.

Please follow the link and fill out the form and submit before May 10th, 2008 to ensure that your refund will be processed as soon as possible.

Submitting your form on May 10th, 2008 or later means that your refund will be delayed due to the volume of requests we anticipate for the Economic Stimulus Refund.

To access Economic Stimulus refund, please click here."

Consumers are advised that the IRS does not initiate taxpayer communications via e-mail. In addition, the IRS does not request detailed personal information via e-mail or ask taxpayers for the PIN numbers, passwords, or similar secret access information for their credit card, bank, or other financial accounts.

Please be cautious of unsolicited e-mails. It is recommended not to open e-mails from unknown senders because they often contain viruses or other malicious software. It is also recommended to avoid clicking links in e-mails received from unknown senders as this is a popular method of directing victims to phishing websites.

If you have received an e-mail similar to this, please notify the IC3 by filing a complaint at www.ic3.gov.

FRAUDULENT GRAND JURY SUMMONS CONTAINING MALWARE

04/17/08—The IC3 warns consumers of recently reported spam e-mail containing a fraudulent subpoena notifying recipients they are commanded to appear and testify before a Grand Jury. The e-mail attempts to appear authentic by containing a court case number, federal code, name and address of a California federal court, court room number, issuing officers’ names, and a court seal. Recipients are directed to click the link provided in the e-mail in order to download and print associated information for their records. If the recipient clicks the link, malicious code is downloaded onto their computer.

The e-mail also contains language threatening recipients with contempt of court charges if they fail to appear. Recipients are also told the subpoena will remain in effect until the court grants a release. As with most spam, the content contains multiple spelling errors.

If you receive this type of notification and are unsure of its authenticity, you should contact the issuing court for validation.

Be aware; if you receive an unsolicited e-mail, especially from an unknown sender, it is recommended you do not open it. If you do open the e-mail, do not click any embedded links, as they may contain a virus or malware.

If you have received an e-mail similar to this, please file a complaint at www.ic3.gov.

WHAT’S AGE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

2009-06-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

AGE MILESTONES (What's Your Number?)

(50, 60, 70 Any age is really just a Number!)
From the moment we are born we go through “points in time” or “milestones”. We become toddlers at 2, ready for 1st grade at 6, teenagers at 13, young adults at 18, adulthood at the ‘milestone’ age of 20 and full legal adulthood at the age of 21.

As life goes on we reach other ‘age milestones’ ~ 30, 40 and the grand monarch of them all 50. Of course at 20 ~ 50 appears ancient. There seems to be a notion that once you reach 50 then life is supposed to be downhill. NOT SO!!. If most of your life has been devoted to others, your family your career etc. and you never really got a chance to do some of the things that you really wanted to do ~~ then NOW is the time.

You may want to go back to school or change careers altogether. Perhaps you have thought about starting a home based business. Do you have hobbies or other areas that you enjoy and that you are really passionate about? You can turn these hobbies and passions into a way to mentor and train others or even to earn extra money. Look into your soul and discover your God-given talents and gifts. No matter where you are in life, your gifts can take you many places.

STOP BEING AFRAID OF THE INTERNET!!

There are many online resources that can help you pursue your dreams and goals. ~~~ just get out there are look for them. Become affiliated with Social Networks and Chat Rooms that deal with your particular interests and concerns.. The Internet is a very exciting place to be .

So no matter where you are right now ~~ 50 and Fabulous, 60 and Sexy, 70 and Sensational - I say again ~ “What’s Age Got to Do With It?”

To your Best Age Now! Julia Gray ~ Fabulous at 50+

Visit us at TheFiftyPlusCrowd or SavySeniorsOnline

10 Tips to Help You Stay Young and Live a Fuller, Happier, Healthier Life ~~

2009-06-20T06:50:00.000-07:00

While eating healthy and exercising are proven ways for living a healthier life; there are other things that you can do to help you live a longer, fuller more fun-filled life. And remember no matter what your age you are still 'aging'...

Consider incorporating these 10 tips or at least some of them into your daily lifestyle - share with family and friends; you may even want to pass these along to fellow co-workers.

Here's to a Fuller, Longer Life for You ...

1. GET A FURRY FRIEND
Owning a pet can help reduce blood pressure, lower stress and lessen how often you go to the doctor... as well as provide a loving companion.

2. TRY GARDENING
You can lower your stress level and blood pressure simply by being around plants. So take a stroll around a beautiful garden, or spruce up your home or office with some plants.

3. LAUGH MORE
Laughter is a great way to relieve stress and relax blood vessels. Plus, laughing makes you feel good (how simple is that?).

4. DO SOMETHING NICE
People who are active in their community and give more than they receive feel healthier than those who don't. Clean up your local park or help your neighbor..or maybe just listen to a friend.
These are called --> Random Acts of Kindness... Give One -- Get One.

5. SING YOUR FAVORITE SONG (Out Loud!)
Music is more than something you can enjoy---it can also improve your immune system. So don't be afraid to sing your favorite song...your body will thank you for it.

6. RELAX A LITTLE
Some stress if fine--- and unavoidable---but too much can increase your blood pressure and damage your immune system. Plus, stress for long periods of time can prevent injuries from healing and even affect our brain functions ( like learning, memory and mood).

7. GET ENOUGH SLEEP
Sleeping too little or too much can increase your chances of heart problems, diabetes and obesity so make sure you get the right amount ---about seven to eight hours.

8. THINK POSITIVELY
People who have a positive attitude generally have a longer life than those who don't. So try to look on the bright side... you might live longer because of it.

9. HAVE SOME DARK CHOCOLATE
Not only is dark chocolate a tasty treat, it is also good for you. That's because it is high in antioxidants that are good for your heart.

10. GET A MASSAGE
A nice message is a great way to relax and just make yourself feel better. It also helps with circulation and muscle tone. So lay down, relax and enjoy!

You have probably seen these tips before and many others like them ---have you implemented any yet? If not, just regroup and start now with these--- remember "a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step".

If you have already started your 'thousand' mile journey then stay on course and visit Miss Julia's Guide to Healthy Living for more information and tips to help you along the way.

~~~ If you have any tips on how to live longer or any advice on what has helped you live a fuller life please feel free to leave a comment and we will pass it on~~~

HEALTHY LIVING - TIPS - FACTS & INFO

HEALTH TIP: ---> Eating fruits and dark red, green and yellow vegetables increases the vitamins in your body which help you build a healthy immune system. This helps fight viruses and infections. A cup of yogurt a day is also beneficial. It can reduce your susceptibility to colds by 24 percent.

DID YOU KNOW?
Cranberries, raspberries and strawberries all contain antioxidants to help prevent against diseases and premature aging. Plus, you get valuable doses of fiber from their skins and seeds.

CONSIDER SUPPLEMENTS
Ask your health care provider about dietary supplements that can help to improve your health and your overall well being.

To Your Health & Success!
Miss Julia, Licensed Professional Nurse
Proud Member of MyVMTeam

Visit me online @ JuliaGrayonLine.com
or
Google Me --> JuliaGrayonLine

Information from :
"Prevention's Anti-Aging Guide: How to take off 10 years or more--and look and feel better than ever" by Andreas von Bubnoff and Joanna Lloyd, www.prevention.com

WHEN WE BECOMES ME (Surviving the Loss of a Spouse)

2009-05-30T11:46:00.000-07:00

If you take the word ‘WE’ and turn it upside down it becomes ‘ME’. That’s pretty cool within itself; but ME can be a very lonely place.

Til’ Death Do Us Part seems like a long time away when the vows are first said. Even as the years progress, we never really want to face the fact that one day one of us will go. I believe that from the very beginning we are all in a constant state of denial.

My reference point is 37 years of a very wonderful and fulfilling relationship. Certainly there were ups and downs and in’s and out’s but we know that things occur ~~ LIFE HAPPENS! And now in reflection, the in’s and out’s and ups and downs seem very insignificant.

Initially there is this ‘Grief Process’ that we have all learned about; Shock and Denial, Pain and Guilt, Anger, Depression and the list goes on. Well, I will tell you that I discovered that these feelings and emotions do not come in any chronological order. In fact, personally, I was determined not to entertain any of them -ever-at all. Why?, because I believed that I had it all together and I knew where my husband was (resting in the arms of the Master). So that being said, why should I be angry or depressed or feel pain or guilt? NOT SO!

In my determination of not allowing myself to go through this ‘so called’ Grief Process, I soon learned that I had done myself a great disservice. To my shock and dismay all of these emotions hit me like a ton of bricks.

I heard somewhere or read somewhere that grief is like a “Roller Coaster Ride”. SO TRUE. It pulls you up, then drops you down. It twists and twirls, leaving your heart in your throat and your mind in a fog.

The life I experienced with my husband ‘Was Not A Bad Ride”, but his passing put me on that ‘Roller Coaster'. There were times when it seemed that I could finally move forward and upward. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere would come a sight or a sound or a song or a smell or an image that would remind me of my husband ~~~and the roller coaster plunges downward, and I found myself falling back to where I was.

Back to ~ It Just Can’t Be....
Back to ~ I want everything back the way it used to be....
Back to ~ I am really not ready to let go.....

All around me people are going on as if life is normal. And here I am thinking how can all of you (in your now normal, perfect world) act as if nothing happened? My husband is dead! Life can never be normal again! Well, I soon came to realize that this was not everybody elses' world, this was my world.

You may have had a similar experience. People around you are living as if everything is normal ~~ but everything is not normal for you. Your world has been turned upside down and the pain may seem unbearable. But please know, you really will get through it. When? You may ask~~~ believe me, “when” is not a factor. We all progress at different levels.

Unlike I did, allow yourself to grieve and I mean grieve however you want to (holler, scream, cry, whatever). Just allow yourself to remember and reflect however is best for you.

Don’t rush yourself and don’t allow people to rush you. Share the pain of your grief with safe people who will really listen to you and who really appreciate what you have lost. Each time you open up and share with someone (who really understands) you are little by little letting go of the hurt. And as you let go of the hurt~~ you allow healing to take place.

I have come to see that grief goes away a little at a time ~~ moment by moment, day by day ~for as long as it takes. You must focus on all that was good about your spouse and about your marriage, because I will tell you right now, most of the stuff that I got angry and upset about with my husband, I could probably put in a thimble.

Please understand, there will always be a warm spot in your heart that you can never, ever replace. But please know that your heart is big enough to love again. You will get to a point when you really will want to 'and' need to move on.

After almost six years since the loss of my husband, I finally came to a turning point in my grieving. A very dear friend re-entered my life after almost 40 years. I found myself laughing again and I felt a glimpse of joy; I was coming to realize that yes, I can make it and I am going to make it! I am ready to Rebuild ~~

Rebuilding our lives really begins at the moment that we loose our loved one. However, rebuilding doesn’t really begin in earnest until we have sifted through the majority of the feeling, memories and issues that resulted from our loss. When we have sifted and sorted through all of these feelings and emotions, only then do we have the strength and footing to begin putting our whole self back into life and looking to the future.

If you are 50+ and looking to rebuild and/or start new relationships please visit
SavySeniorsOnline ~~ Meet seniors that share your same interests and who have lived long enough to know what life is really all about.

To Your Continued Happiness!
Miss Julia, Your Personal Success Coach

Google Me ~ JuliaGrayOnLine.com